Acting, Advice, Love

The LA Diaries: Ho Ho Ho! Ghosting, Naked Sushi, and Polyamory. Oh my!

Dear Reader,

Someone special reminded me to write. Let’s rain some truth on this betch ❤

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When someone compliments my blog

GHOSTS OF ROOMMATES PAST

Ever get that skin-crawly, goose-bumpey feeling like you’re not alone? Like in the movies when the white girl comes home all like, “Hello? Is anyone there?”

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Yeah that happened to me last week. After returning home from a glorious day of being covered in sushi(scroll down), I asked Alexa to pay ocean sounds. When music box wifey didn’t answer, I noticed someone had taken her AND rifled through my stuff.

Instinctively, I took out my baseball bat(obvi) and knocked on my roommate’s door. 3 weeks earlier, she’d left all her stuff, took her cat, and skipped out on rent. Just when you thought ghosting only applied to dating.

Back to the baseball bat. I whipped open her door to find the room empty except for the bed…and the two people sleeping in it. Voila ex roomie + her mom. After hugging it out, we proceeded to negotiate a fair and amicable agreement…jk jk. Think less Amal Clooney, more Meg Ryan in “You’ve Got Mail.” I stuttered something about “lack of communication” and “being a decent human being.” Ex-roomie barely responded. Her mom said, “We didn’t ask you to cover our portion. You’re not being nice right now.” Exsqueeeeze me while my brain falls out of my vadge. Oh hellz nah. I asked them to leave and didn’t put the bat down till they left.

Lesson? When life screws you up the a$$(and not in a pleasurable way), all you can do is wait out the storm and ASK for help. Incredible souls will answer. Gratitude for every kindness received. Cheers to all the lovely uber drivers who listened to me vent. 5 stars.

For anyone who’s used to the “what you see is what you get”(East Coasters), LA can prove challenging. You’ve got to dig deep to find the unicorns. Check IDs and intentions from the get-go. Welcome to the city of angels.

P.S. Live alone if you can afford it. Peace of mind is worth every penny.

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WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT ACTING(the Asian 1%)

You know those feelings most of us keep locked away in the “Inner-Demon-Child-Highly-Flammable” box? Well acting requires you to release them. I’ve played a mom who’s lost her daughter, a war widow, and a schizophrenic homeless woman. No wonder performers feel like jumping out of buildings. (This isn’t a joke about suicide, but rather an observation about how intense acting feels.) We’re taught to separate ourselves from the “character”. Tis a very thin line. While emotional exhaustion isn’t exactly the topic du jour at awards shows, I have immense respect for anyone who survives(and thrives) in the arts.

Highlight? Thanks to Stella Adler, I booked as a naked sushi girl, or Nyotaimori, for a sci fi flick called The Fusion. Four elite members of society dine off my body while peddling the elixir of youth. Before shooting, we were given an anti-Harvey Weinstein pep talk. (SO NECESSARY.) Reassured my coochie would be tastefully hidden by banana leaves, it took some major deep breaths to unsheath. I’m all about close ups but hey now!

As three women dressed yours truly in flowers and raw fish, I imagined myself as Khaleesi, mother of dragons, breaker of maki rolls, all while chatting up cast and crew so we’d feel more comfortable.

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Did I mention Eric Roberts(Julia Robert’s brother) was sitting next to me? He tried to tickle me with chopsticks. He also saw the sound guy and announced “HEY! HE’S ASIAN!” Oh boy. I teased him a bit, “Do you even know what kind of asian he is? Do you even care?” His smirk said it all. During break, I asked him, “Do people treat you different?”

“They all kiss my a$$,” he shrugged before make a whistling trumpet sound and burping repeatedly in my ear. My reaction, “I’ve gotta fart…but I’m holding it.” Correct, that’s what I said to the man who’s had brunch with Putin. (Truth: I was about to poop myself but waited till we finished takes. Where’s my bloody Oscar?!)

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Very cool to meet big name stars but at the end of the day, they’re still people. How you treat your waiter shows the most about you, know-what-I-mean?

Ever the optimist, let’s face the fact that Asians are largely invisible in Hollywood and represent less than 1% of lead roles. The lack of opportunities given can no longer excuse Hollywood’s history of exclusion and white-washing. Let’s celebrate the success of films like Crazy Rich Asians and Black Panther. Let’s keep supporting change so that people of color are allowed to make mediocre movies. Representation matters. Diversity should be the norm, not the exception. Our ticket dollars matter. Wouldn’t it be amazing to see our beautiful world mirrored on-screen? THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ❤

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PITCHFORKS AND POLYAMORY

pol·y·am·o·ry
/ˌpälēˈamərē/
noun
  1. the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.

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In a world of 7.4 billion people, only 1 romantic partner will make you happy. Fact or fiction? As a little girl, I’d say fact. As a grown a$$ woman, I’m skeptical. After all, a woman’s worth is measured by who she marries and her virginity is an unbreakable bond with the gods( pardon my acid reflux). Ladies, we’ve been raised with entirely unrealistic expectations of princesses awaiting their one true prince. Instead of Disney movies, we should’ve been enrolled in free-therapy-whenever-we-want. Throw in sex toy groupons and we golden.

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anyone else think Sleeping Beauty got roofied? ok, just me

Cue relationship goddess Esther Perel and her viral TED Talk, “For anyone who’s ever loved… We may love sushi, but we don’t necessarily want to eat it every day. We have diverse interests, hobbies, friends, careers. Yet, when it comes to romantic partners, we’re supposed to put every egg into one basket? That’s a LOT of pressure. It takes hard work to sustain desire in a long term relationship. How can we fan the flames and be honest with our partners? Remember, cheating is based on secrecy and lying. Open relationships/polyamory are built upon communication. How can we build bonds of honesty and trust, even when they involve other people? Time to read The Ethical Slut.

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Before anyone takes out their pitchforks, note I respect monogamy and see it as a CHOICE. Like any choice in life, what works for you doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. I’m more of a serial monogamist but am open to exploring. Freedom within commitment is possible. Sexuality is a spectrum. CONSENT IS HAWT. Mad love for the LGBTQ community.

(disclaimer: Dating multiple people will lead to a renewed interest in monogamy. Side effects include ghosting, emotional unavailability, and STDs)

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when he doesn’t have a hairy chest/sweater vest underneath

As a crazy woke asian, I started dating asian men in my late 20’s. There were no hot asian guys to lust after in my mostly-white high school. Add on Hollywood’s white man savior complex, sprinkle a few daddy issues, and VOILA! A recipe for stereotyping asian men as weak, effeminate, geeky, unsexy. Change starts here.

(Based on in-depth, albeit small quantity of data, I’m happy to announce that asian men are equipped with…erm…full stockings. Henry Golding, call me)

ALL WE NEED IS LOVE (Less Social Media)

“How long can someone go without love?” my acting teacher asked.

Now replace “love” with “social media”. HA! Ever feel the pressure to keep up and be our best selves, constantly? We measure our success by number of followers or likes. You’ll hear casting directors say “I won’t even look at someone who has less than 5,000 followers.” DAMN, that’s scary. I understand the profit margin and marketing element of social media, but let’s not forget insta-famous is a recent occurrence. Life needs to be LIVED in the present (OMG,  but look at this cute puppy meme!)  Sigh, I have A.D.D.

Point is, it’s great to share, but it’s even more important to self care. Take time offline to recharge our batteries. The world will keep spinning. Ask loved ones AND the universe for what you need. Some of us are sunflowers: we bloom best when watered daily (oodles of tlc + compliments pls).

We all have sh*tty days. Let me be the first to say I wake up some days with crippling anxiety where I can’t breathe. There’s no “quick fix” but daily management. Yoga, yoga, yoga. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Find your tribe. Take your time. Hollywood’s not going anywhere.

Shout out to all my bad ass ladies(and gents!): we can be independent and love being with a supportive partner. We can be intelligent and sexual. We can be productive members of society AND enjoy recreational weed. Gots to love Cali 😉

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thank u S

Remember: people will judge regardless. Might as well be true to yourself and connect with kindred spirits.

Happy Holidays my sweet darlings! Sending you patience and strength to survive our dysfunctional families!

LOVE IS ALL WE NEED(Santa slide some C notes in my stocking pls)

Ho Ho Ho,

CeCe Chic

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Acting, Advice, Comedy, Family, Mental Health

The LA Diaries: Crazy Struggling Asian

Dear reader,

Anyone else on the struggle bus? Let’s rain some truth on this b*tch. It’s fabulous to pursue what you love, but it’s also f@$#ng hard to be an artist. Instagram @cecechic shows the highlights of my life(OMG! I’m, like, amaze!), but it’s called an image for a reason. My life is not perfect and I never want alienate anyone who may feel like their lives are “less so”. So this post is KIRA: keepin’ it real always. (I only use facebook to share blog posts. Too much social media makes me gassy)

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Makin It Rain…or Drought

Acting is a huge investment. Classes, headshots, networking, you name it. “Uh, isn’t someone, just gonna, like, discover me?” Nice try Cindy Crawford(dating myself here), but most of us will be hustling for years. My biggest priority right now is paying RENT. LA is expensive. I live in a cozy, converted living room in Ktown with an adorable roomie. When you love what you do, you need less stuff (except cute shoes, bags, and clothes. fashion whore, loud and proud). Sure, it’d be amazing to own a sweet a$$ home with a pool/hot tub/balcony someday, but that’s not why I’m doing this. Materialism can be the death of art.

May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor(not)

According to Google, the average unemployment rate for actors hovers around 90 percent. So when some people say: OMG YOU’RE GONNA BE FAMOUS! I want to punch them in the face. They have the best intentions but really don’t get how challenging and time consuming this path can be. Can you imagine any other job where the extent of experience does NOT match the role you’re in? Wrap your mind around that. So like my teacher at Stella Adler says: “if there’s any other job you like to do, do it.” Acting is tough af and I love it.

Did you know auditions require you to be available at any moment? Keeping a 9-5 job is simply not possible if you have any plans for success. I dog walk and teach, but mostly my loved ones support me. Blessed with unconditional love and that’s all I’m going to say here 😉 Everyday, I manifest abundance and believe someday this will all pay off.

Fresh Off The Boat

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Constance Wu is #BAE. Her show FOTB is the first Asian American family on TV in 21 years. Crazy Rich Asians is LIT. It’s a double edged milestone that’s empowering and shows us HOW MUCH WORK we’ve still got. Let’s see it as the tip of an invisible iceberg. C.R.A. represents a sliver of our stories. Good news? Audiences want diversity. We can sell the big bucks. In Hollywood, green speaks (cue Awkwafina’af on SNL).

Quick brain-gasm: think about the last show you watched and how many of the LEAD characters were minorities. How many do you count? Check out billboards with diverse characters(not just extras per remake of Beauty and the Beast). I bet you can count them on one hand and that’s generous. Like Maggie Q says, I don’t want to be up for “asian” roles, I want to play interesting characters. P.S. ASIAN PEOPLE: let’s be more outspoken about our invisibility and demand opportunity. Regardless of whether you’re Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Malaysian, Thai, Laotian, Mixed, etc. Support each other and other minorities. United we stand, b*tches. (anyone who denies whitewashing is real probably has similar views on global warming. like, the earth is flat, duh)

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Daddy Issues

Relationships with men are never easy, but they’re MUCH better than low self esteem 20’s. I set healthy boundaries with anyone who is toxic. This applies to my family. My dad still sends me texts me about how I should invest in a better, stable, long term career plan. I delete them cuz it just brings me down. Thankfully, my mom is far more supportive. It’s the hardest thing in the world to accept your loved ones for who they are. Only then can we stop expecting validation. Free yourself, loves. Forgive them and open your heart to the people who will embrace you wholeheartedly.(my Oscars speech will include shoutouts to my therapists. No shame in the mental health game!)

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Dear reader, like any good parking spot, we’ve got to validate ourselves. Detach from the negative thoughts and watch them float away like leaves in the breeze. Lean In to positive energy. This is the path to become a Mental Samurai (title of FOX game show hosted by Rob Lowe. We froze our asses of in the audience while watching people try to to be “perfect” by answering trivia in 30 seconds. Nobody won the 10 grand. Quel surprise)

Blessed to building a community in LA. Our faces are different, but are hearts are the same. (p.s. be careful in LA cuz many mofos fake) Whatever you’re passionate about, NOW is the time to start. Next time someone asks me about my 5 year plan, respond…”To be happy. To find fulfilment in the process, rather than the result. Clapping back at the hater-ade, SUP.

Remember: challenges suck balls, but they also offer an opportunity to THRIVE.

Thanks SO much for reading about my pits and peaks. I hope you feel a little bit more inspired and a little less alone. HAPPY MATHA FAHCKIN FRIDAY!

Love and peace,

CeCe Chic

 

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